If You Give, You Can Receive
‘Tis the season, everyone! It’s that time of year that many wisdom traditions point to, where the sacrificed God dies before coming back to life. And so too, is our natural world going into hibernation; the correlations between the natural cycles and the mystical narrative are uncanny.
Regardless of your religious stance, your orientation toward faith or disposition around organized religion, this is a time that’s wrought with meaning, mysticism and historical miracles. Worth exploring, no?
Cosmologically speaking, we in the Northern Hemisphere are immersed in the darkest part of the year (the entrance into this planetary phase shift was expounded upon in our Autumnal blog post). We enter into darkness so we can rise from the depths, come Spring. It’s now that we plant the seeds of today that will become the fruits of tomorrow. We’re composting all the bits; take stock of everything that happened this year; our successes and our failures, remembering that failure tastes far better than regret. And we move onward! Digesting all that’s ready to be processed, and doing so in the fertile darkness of these winter months.
At the level of the collective, we’re called to gather together and celebrate our togetherness. We can see our presence as a gift to one another; after so much time of isolation and separation, the ability to gather this coming holiday season is a true gift beyond the material realm.
So what does this translate to, personally?
Well, we find ourselves invited into communion. Communion with Spirit, with each other, with our families and with our loved ones. There are opportunities in the coming weeks for intentional connection, and whether or not that’s the ‘norm’ in your family or your friend circles, if you’re reading this, chances are you’ve been put on assignment by Spirit to incorporate it!
Here are some simple ways to invoke the Spirit of Christ Consciousness and compassion into our lives.
→ With self: practice mirror gazing with yourself this week & only allow positive, loving statements to come from your lips. Speak to the successes you’ve accomplished this year and emphasize the giving and loving aspects of yourself.
→ With family + community: invite the group for a shared moment in time; this could look like a prayer, a simple shared breath, a moment of silence, or a collective ritual. There are no barriers to entry here; you’ll feel great after gathering folks together in service of a shared reality.
→ With the planet + cosmos: present yourself to the sky at some point before the end of the year. Introduce yourself in your highest light. When we present ourselves as a present, giving ourselves as a gift, this energy emanates outward in ways immeasurable yet deeply impactful.
Consider this your explicit invitation to continue the frequency of love and compassion throughout the year. The collective consciousness can be steeped in themes of fellowship, family, joy and celebration, so long as we each do our part to contribute that vibration. Giving is the underlying current right now, and you can decide whether you give your contribution to the collective in that light.
And trust me, if you do, you’ll feel the gifts of that giving in months to come!
Boundary Setting Tips
Have you ever felt rubbed the wrong way? Found yourself doing something you really don’t want to do because someone asked you to do it? Or perhaps you’ve felt like a doormat at some point in the past? There are many ways our boundaries can be crossed and oftentimes we don’t realize until it’s already happened. This is usually the case when we haven’t established where our boundaries are for ourselves, first.
Establishing our own boundaries for ourselves is a personal process. In this process, we explore and recognize what situations allow for our optimal expression and our embodiment. We can start to create lists and structured forms around the conditions in which we thrive; when do we feel really seen, embodied and fully expressed? Working from those conditions, we then create boundaries to preserve those conditions, when they are susceptible to external influence.
How do we know where to draw boundaries? Usually there are signs we can read in our own energy field that will let us know when our boundaries have been crossed. Sometimes this translates to feelings of defensiveness or defeat. Either we react to the boundary getting crossed, and our communication turns prickly and abrasive. Or we repress our feelings regarding the boundary getting crossed, and we shut down and detach from the situation.
In any case, it’s important to read the body’s response to different scenarios, so we can create an inner map of our boundary zones. Once we become literate with our own boundaries within ourselves, we are more empowered to communicate these boundaries to others.
Empowered Authenticity and Effective Expression
Communication, as we know, can be both verbal and non-verbal. With regard to boundaries, it’s often beneficial for us to communicate these in verbal, explicit ways. Within the realm of non-verbal communication, there can be a lot of room for misinterpretation and distortion. Therefore, expressing clearly and accurately can be helpful for others to know where our boundaries are and what they look like. The best boundary setting techniques are those that are infused with love, where we speak vulnerably from our hearts. In this way, we admit our own expectations and where our edges of comfort are drawn, so that others can honor these edges.
Regardless of whether we’re communicating our boundaries within a love relationship, a professional agreement or within a family dynamic, there are some general tips you can glean here:
→ Use foresight to create clear agreements
→ Put all expectations on the table
→ Maintain emotional connection and present-moment awareness
→ Be authentic, open and honest about your needs
In order to optimize boundary setting techniques, it’s of utmost importance to speak from the heart! Create invitations for new ways of being in relationship, as we do our part in fostering emotional connection while creating clear agreement fields. Communicating our boundaries from a place of love, clearly and compassionately, can help to create invitations for others as opposed to restrictions or limitations. This, ultimately, will translate to deeper trust and a higher degree of mutual respect of the boundaries we seek to set.
When my uncle died last year, it also seemed like the death of my family. There was a lot of fighting and hurling harsh words. It definitely wasn’t the first time this had happened, but our connection was so threadbare that what should have been a typical quarrel of grief was instead a cataclysm.
The one beautiful moment I remember from that experience was sitting in the hospice room with two of my aunts, as my uncle lay in bed, present and content. I felt a palpable web of kinship, and it struck me that moments like this were rare.
Or so I thought.
It took a bit of time to catch up to me, but after his passing, severing ties with certain family members, and seeing a close friend move to another state, I contracted and sunk into a depression. I became more distant with friends and started to isolate myself. Fortunately, this didn’t last too long, and I emerged from the dark with fresh perspective.
Feeling inspired to take a walk in the cool night, I ended up in a clearing of trees. I suddenly became aware, in the gut, that family and bloodline aren’t the same. That feeling I had in the hospice room—that kinship—was a feeling I’ve actually experienced with people I’m not biologically related to. I just hadn’t recognized it.
My myopia cleared.
We’ve all heard the term “soul mate.” This idea comes from Plato, who proposed that a soul, prior to its incarnation, splits in two and ends up in two different bodies. I feel this is an interesting metaphor, but if we were to explain the dynamic more accurately, it might go something like this…
We all have unique “frequencies” or patterns of energy. It’s part of the creative diversity of existence. Some of these frequencies are more in tune with each other, due to congruence. As the Law of Attraction mantra goes, “like attracts like.” So the similar frequencies pull each other in and you’ve got a…soul family!
Is this just a woo woo way of saying you hang out with people who have similar personalities? That’d be fair. But there are phenomena that seem to happen with people who are really in sync with each other. These appear to go beyond normal social connections.
HOW TO KNOW IF SOMEONE IS IN YOUR SOUL FAMILY
Ask these questions to yourself:
- Did we click right away, or meet by a strange synchronicity?
- Do we share a similar purpose?
Purpose can be defined as the theme behind your actions, strengths, and goals.
- Do we enhance each other?
This might be conscious, but can also be inadvertent. Sometimes people help each other grow without realizing it. This may also manifest as the other person getting you to confront your demons (and vice versa).
- Do synchronicities seem to happen with us often?
These can occur in so many ways…thinking of each other (or the same subject) around the same time, going through the same problems, having unexpectedly mutual friends, having the same projects or goals (without knowing it, at first).
- Does it feel like there’s an energetic connection?
This might be an almost tangible electricity, warmth, magnetic-like pull, or even strong bodily sensation (such as a pins-and-needles feeling). It may seem at times like you can even have a conversation without talking, purely by sensing the play of energy.
If you answered more than three of these questions affirmatively, it’s likely the person in mind is in your soul family.
WHO CAN BE IN MY FAMILY?
Soul families are different from bloodlines in the sense that the members don’t have to be genetically related. Of course, a person in your bloodline might still be in your soul family. But so can your friend, or a stranger you meet on the street.
Soul families may also consist of both incarnated and astral beings. This overlaps with the concept of spirit guides and guardian angels. Just as there can be a vibrational resonance among you and another human, so too can there be a resonance with you and a spirit or interdimensional being. They may not make their presence known to you directly (until your astral senses get stronger), but they can play a role in discreet ways. If you’re focused and clear on your goals, you may notice their influence in your life.
You can more fully embrace the power of your soul family with these tips:
- Become aware of who’s in your soul family.
The questions above should help with this. Do this process with people you already know, and with new people who trigger an intuitive response.
- Sustain active engagement.
It’s easy to become buried with daily tasks and obligations, but make an effort to save time for your soul family. Staying connected via phone, video, and text is great. Meeting in person is even better. Of course, this can’t be forced, and they may become busy or feel pulled in a different direction. Kindly create the space for engagement, and let the rest happen as it will.
Be open with them about your dreams, projects, and challenges. Your potential for success is greater with the support of your soul family. They may help in ways totally unexpected. In turn, help them when you can, and be a good ear.
- Play with the energy.
You can talk without talking. Learn to become aware of the energy around you, and pay attention to how their energy is unique. Sense how your energy dances with theirs. More detailed guidelines for this process will be in our next post!
Soul families can be the bedrock of our creative lives. They offer support in many ways, while reminding us of the unity built into the Cosmos. There’s never a reason to feel alone if you are aware of the myriad connections that exist.
Do you know who is in your soul family? How do you feel they have impacted your life? How do you feel you’ve impacted their lives? Please share below!