by user_dd | May 23, 2022 | Community Conversations
So, we all know the term ‘physics’. Yet, how many of us are adept in understanding the term ‘metaphysics’? What’s the difference? (If you haven’t read our prior post around this topic, dive in).
Bluntly put, metaphysics provide a framework for understanding how our universe works (not just the physical matter that we perceive in our ‘reality’).
Alright, so let’s get back to our topic at hand; ‘toxic masculinity’. When I say that this concept is not real, I am saying that this term is subjective.
All subjectivity is ultimately not real.
The term “toxic masculinity” does not mean the same thing to everyone. There is no shared agreement or understanding about what is toxic versus not toxic. There is also a lot of confusion about what is masculine, but we’ll get to that later.
So when you put two words together to describe behaviors for which there is no shared agreement you end up with not meaning anything at all.
If one person can label a cis-straight male asking a woman out on a date “toxic,” and another person thinks that’s completely acceptable behavior, then there’s nothing objective or real about that distinction. If two people see a man open the door for a woman, and one reports it as toxic while another reports it as him simply being a gentleman, was it toxic masculinity?
“Objective” or “real” means there’s something observable and measurable that does not change based on who’s looking. That there’s agreement based on a shared experience. You don’t have that with ‘toxic masculinity.’
You see, something that is objectively real can’t be changed by your thoughts, opinions, or beliefs.
Conversely, anything that can be changed just by thinking about it, is subjective, or not real.
I can’t think a chair into being a car. I can say it’s a car, tell others it’s a car, and convince my baby brother that if he sits on the chair we can go for a ride, but the reality is, at the end of the day, it’s still a chair. And to my little brother’s dismay, it’s not going anywhere.
This is illustrated in the evolution of how LGBT became LGBTQII2+. If these distinctions were real, then they could not change. The reality is that as long as you can keep adding distinctions to the pile of letters sexual orientation has become, then you’re clearly talking about something subjective, not objective, not real. If the distinctions were real, then they wouldn’t need to be explained, adapted, contextualized, re-defined, parsed out, distinguished in ANY way, and then added onto by successive generations. They would just be…unfettered in their objective truth.
We’re creating new levels of distinctions to try and get at more nuances of identity and expression.
But none of that’s real. It’s convenient maybe, has meaning to some, but it’s not real.
Are these distinctions useful to people? Sure. I like telling women I’m a gay man. It relieves them of the social labor of having to guard themselves against me hitting on them with a sexual motive, when I’m merely trying to have a pleasant conversation. But how many gay men have actually had sex with a woman? I personally know many gay
men who have not only children, but also grandchildren. So clearly they’ve had sex with women.
So the distinction, while convenient and maybe even meaningful, is not real.
Clearly being “gay” doesn’t mean the same thing to everyone.
Are you gay because you are male and have had a sexual experience with another man? Isn’t that what a bisexual male does? How many straight men have experimented sexually with other men? Does one gay experience make you gay? Or is there a minimum number, like 5 times, and then you’re officially gay.
Are you only gay if you march in parades and proudly display your homosexuality? Does eschewing that behavior mean we ‘take your Gay card away?’
As you all know, only you can define this identity for yourself. No one can tell you whether you’re gay, bi, whatever. I don’t care what you are, if it serves you, go for it. But if I and no one else can tell by looking at you or your behavior and make that distinction accurately most of the time, it isn’t a real distinction.
It’s convenient and maybe even meaningful, but it’s not real.
Here’s another example: We know that the experience of a black trans man is not the same as a white trans woman. Just because they’re both trans doesn’t mean they have the same experience.
Their race brings a very different dimension to their identity and experience in our culture. This is due to the effect of intersectionality on identity.
So when I tell you they are both trans, does that communicate anything meaningful to you about their experience? Does the term distinguish something or tell you something that helps you understand their experience holistically? It may, but also, it may not.
So the distinction, while convenient and maybe even meaningful, is not real.
Misunderstanding what’s objectively real versus what’s subjectively real, meaning what’s real for me and maybe not real for you, is the source of endless confusion in our society.
When we replace reality with subjectivity, we are damaging our own ability to understand who we really are, to find our place in the world, and most importantly: to navigate and adapt to change.
Throughout the ages, humans have learned to live in increasingly complex environments. Charles Darwin, father of the theory of evolution said, “It’s not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive, the future belongs to those who can best manage change.”
Because we have forgotten who we are, I believe we now live in a world where humans have forgotten how to be human.
The core work of being human is learning to ask the right questions. The only source of ‘capital T’ Truth is you!
Truth resonates with the wisdom of the heart. So, let your answers come from your heart. Your mind is polluted with all sorts of confusing thoughts and ideas programmed into you by society, or ingrained from prior traumas and dramas that aren’t who you truly are.
Our methods to distinguish what’s right from wrong, such as labeling behaviors as ‘toxic masculinity’ are actually creating more separation and hate, when what we really need is unity and love.
I say this, because our kids today are confused. By not pointing out which way is objectively north, they have no true orientation, no way to navigate the complexities of modern living.
For the sake of their psychological health, at least be clear that there’s a real, true difference between a man and woman. Stop pretending like there’s not.
Gender is real.
It’s embedded into reality in a way that will persist ever after we, and our opinions, die.
But “Toxic Masculinity” is not real. It’s a subjective opinion masquerading as objective reality. This is dangerous.
I’m just asking you to stop believing your subjective reality is objectively real. It’s not!
Trust me, you don’t need other people to validate your subjective reality in order to thrive. Gay men do it all the time. We learn to thrive in environments where other people disagree with our reality. Every day. 24/7. That’s life.
by user_dd | Feb 28, 2022 | Community Conversations
So if you’ve been noticing, there’s a massive collective shift going on. Atop our precious little spinning rock floating in space, we’re experiencing energetic changes that aren’t difficult to see and feel. These shifts that are happening are personal, global, planetary and utterly cosmic. Of course, how we relate to these shifts is an essential aspect of how well we can adapt to them and embrace the newness that continues to arrive.
The irony dwells in the space that brings balance to tradition and newness. How can we stay true to what’s been, in order to align ourselves with all that’s coming? How can we preserve the traditions that have sustained us, while also inspiring ourselves to stay flexible and inclusive toward all the radical change that’s emerging? These are some important questions to reflect on at this time.
Gender Polarity
We’re seeing big change happening with regard to gender polarity. There has been a reckoning with the patriarchal power structures and antiquated hegemonic frameworks in many of the societies around the world. If we are to usher in a new paradigm of love and feminine leadership, we will need some serious grace. Simply put, we cannot demonize ‘the man’ for what has happened in our planetary history. Sure, we’ve had many injustices occur and are learning the deeply negative impacts of having people in power command with righteous greed. These are important to note.
However, villainizing the “other”, is a very dangerous route to take, and I’m here to encourage you otherwise. You see, there’s something deeply relieving about the power of forgiveness to empower us to meet the ever-arriving ‘now’. Forgiving injustices is not about turning a blind eye. Instead, it’s about looking at the circumstance with compassion, in order to move forward with love in the heart and practical logic in the mind (perhaps not in equal proportion).
Proportions and Differentials
So that brings me to the concept of proportions. At the end of the day, equality does not equal sameness. What the first wave feminists did for women was great, and at the same time, their efforts have now translated to a mass amount of Western women rejecting their femininity in order to make it in the ‘man’s world’. What’s important to note are the proportions of energy; the differentials between passive and active energy are an essential aspect of one’s existence to be looked at and understood. For, in Hermetic philosophy, balance is not the same as equal; differentials in proportion allow for creation and manifestation to occur (i.e. 70/30 vs 50/50).
Within the Modern Mystery School, we are guardians of the sanctity of this polarity within our culture. We’re responsible to adhere to this tradition, as stewards of global and interplanetary balance. This work, however vast it may come off, is work that starts within. So consider this an invitation to take a read on your own passive/active proportion and feel what came up for you while reading this! It’s time we break down the calcification that’s come from a rigid devotion to ‘equality’, and celebrate our diversity, celebrate our depth and our differentials.
by user_dd | Dec 19, 2020 | Community Conversations
Most of our daily attention focuses on our physical experience. With the constant demands of the body seeking pleasure and avoiding pain, it’s easy to get caught up in the rat race of daily life: eat, work, try to have some fun, sleep, repeat.
Eventually our Spirit reaches through this dross to remind us that there’s something more, something bigger, something liberating that we are missing when we approach life this way.
Most spiritual traditions will start us off with meditation. In the altered state which meditation begins to cultivate in our daily life, the eternal part of us that is not apparent in our basic perception of physicality starts to call out.
This can be confusing, because this infinite part of us doesn’t ‘fit in’ to our initial conception of what our experience is supposed to be like. How can there be unlimited energy, abundance, compassion, love when our experience of life is so limited?
We are infinite potential
Yet, it has been the message of wisdom traditions for eons that there’s more to this experience than what meets the eye. The key lies in making that transition from finite to infinite a reality in our daily lives.
We have the opportunity to live in the heaven or hell of our own making…that is, our own thinking. We can only make this transition from finite to infinite in our mind because All is Mind, there is nothing else—one of the Hermetic axioms.
Further, every thought in this Mind is a creative act. Whenever we give our attention to a thought or idea, it blossoms until it eventually becomes a reality. But are we re-creating the old or innovating on something new? Are we paying attention to the right things in life that will bring out the kind of life that we want to live?
Practice Infinity
If you feel stuck, here are some techniques to unleash the creative powers of your mind.
First, conduct an opposite day where you say ‘Yes’ whenever you would have said ‘No’ and vice versa. Approach this like a game, and of course, don’t do anything dangerous or illegal, the intention is to push your boundaries of what’s possible—to free your mind from your self-limitations. The quality and breadth of your life experience depends on whether you’ve been curious (or courageous) enough to ask, what if or why not.
Second, just when you think you’re done meditating, and you can’t possibly sit another second on your meditation chair or cushion, sit for one more minute and watch what happens in your mind. It’s not that there’s any one specific experience that everyone will encounter, but by pushing at this boundary, you’ll be sure to experience something you haven’t felt before. Expand your consciousness.
Third, practice gazing at a scene in nature, or area of your room for awhile, soaking up each detail. Then close your eyes and imagine every possible detail you can remember, up to the most minute detail you can recall. When you think you have every detail you remember, open your eyes and reconcile your mental image with the reality of the scene in front of you. Notice where your assumptions may have led to false images in your mind, and go back and revise your mental image.
When we focus on creative acts in our thinking, we are creating our reality rather than blindly following our subconscious. And creativity, bringing forth or manifesting something from an idea, is one way our infinite natures become expressed in the finite, physical now. So you can see why we start here to access our infinite nature.
Tell me more ways you are accessing your infinite nature in your finite human experience. I want to hear how you’re expanding your consciousness!
by user_dd | Nov 5, 2020 | Transitory Thoughts
You make choices everyday which impact countless possible outcomes in your life. Sometimes I call these timelines. These timelines represent possible paths your life can take based on your choices. When you sit down and consider how differently your life can unfold based on whether you choose to stay or go, get up or lie down, say ‘Yes!’ or say ‘No,’ you might find yourself completely mind-boggled.
Unlike a computer game or simulation, you can’t save your game, or return back to the beginning and start over again. You’re stuck with the results of your choices, and you have to deal with the outcomes. You may inadvertently hurt someone’s feelings or do something you regret later. You may take a chance that you’ve never taken before and it begins a grand adventure into the unknown. We can never know for sure where life is going to take us, but there are few things we can learn along the way to make the journey a bit easier.
Fortunately we’re working in a universe with certain predictable laws—and I’m not talking about the Laws of Thermodynamics or some other branch of Physics. These “physical” laws typically break down when applied at universal proportions. I’m talking about Universal Law. It’s the set of laws that maintains balance in the universe.
When you take an action, the Universe will respond based on Universal Law. That means that once you understand how these laws work, you can predict what will happen based on the actions you are taking.
Here’s an example of what I’m talking about: where attention goes, energy flows. This is an example of how it’s most helpful to consider the universe as actually a mental phenomena, and will respond to your thoughts. You should carefully consider your thoughts on a daily basis, and engage in rituals and habits that produce certain thoughts based on the outcomes you want to see.
This is typically the opposite way that people think. Things happen, and then you think thoughts about them. Not the other way around, right?Well, how would your life be different if you chose what thoughts you wanted to think and then watched your life begin to shift to be in alignment with those thoughts? This would be an experience of life that exists as a result of your thoughts. Rather than something happening to you, it happens for you.
As a human being, you have an impact on what will result based on the predictable effects of Universal Law. The discipline of metaphysics has studied Universal Law for ages and ages, and it is your birthright to have access to these hidden teachings that have been kept pure, waiting for you to ask the right question. No doubt you’ve heard before, “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.”
Reach out to me if you’re interested in how to re-design your life to be in flow with your true and highest purpose. As you may have guessed with this article, we start with your thoughts and build sustainable structures for your life path from there.
We need you to be fully self-expressed here on Earth, so waste no time and let me know that you’re ready to begin the journey to Know Thyself today! I’m here to guide and support you on this awakening journey whenever you are ready.
by user_dd | Oct 13, 2020 | Transitory Thoughts
My journey seeking truth started at a very early age when my concept of right/wrong seemed so…simplistic. There was always a right answer, and a wrong answer; a right way to be, and a wrong way to be; the right thing to say and well, ok, lots of wrong things to say, to be fair.
In short, there were plenty of things for me to react against and resist. Why can’t I do that? Why can’t I say this? Why do people get so upset over unimportant misunderstandings all the time? Why do people get upset when I ask so many questions. Ha!
Time to Wake Up
At some point, it became clear that there was really no clarity at all—different people experience the world in different ways. An objective way of viewing the world, one that can be measured and manipulated predictably (in alignment with scientific laws), is not how people make decisions or relate to one another. The world operates mostly on subjective experiences which we cannot so easily measure and compare. This is where we primarily hang out.
Expressing our subjective experience is limited by the capacity of our language to contain increasingly abstract concepts within the limitations of language, especially as we try to express concepts like meaning and life purpose.
You and I can agree that the chicken crossed the road because we can see it do so, but the question remains: Why? Is this related to the chicken’s life purpose?
The less concrete the concept, the harder it is to express. Also, the more likely we’ll miss nuances in the experience which differentiate others’ experiences from our own. This is because our brain makes assumptions that may not necessarily be true. When our understanding differs from the message that was actually delivered (aka true reality), we can experience upset proportional to the size of that gap.
And this is where we miss out BIG. By projecting our own experience on to others…that is to say, by assuming their experience is the same as ours, we miss huge opportunities to expand our idea of what’s possible.
Don’t Let Others Put You In a Box
Fairly often I have the experience of people wanting to put me in a box. Ageism, sexism, and racism absolutely play an important part. Often people assume that if they can’t do it, or couldn’t do it when they were my age, that I must not be able to as well. Because we have the same skills, abilities, talents and strengths, right?
What’s hilarious to me is when it occurs to me that different people put me in diametrically opposed boxes. Older white guys almost never hire my ‘Chief Spiritual Officer’ services, while older women are almost always interested in what I have to say about the energy of their people and business.
Some people assume certain things about my education because I grew up on a 100-acre farm in the middle of nowhere Ohio. Others assume certain things about me because I work for myself and own my own home.
And I react to these assumptions. There have been many years of my personal development experience working on not becoming attached to others’ stories.
I actually had someone ask me once if I’ve ever been poor (presumably because I don’t worry about finances anymore). Since when does being well-off financially mean I haven’t experienced poverty?! To me, my past history with ‘being poor’ is my motivation to keep my finances expansive and abundant.
And then I catch myself—how are they to know if I don’t actually express my thoughts, feelings, reactions, and experiences in a way that they can understand?
Instead of being fed the proverbial silver spoon, what I did to excel financially was learn how the system works and then put it to work for me. I often don’t do what most people are likely to do given the circumstances. That’s part of my strategy for success. If you do what everyone else is doing, you’ll get the same results.
There are very few people that I see day-to-day that I’d like to emulate. Not because they’re doing anything wrong or even undesirable to me, just that I have my own unique mission that I’m on, so I’m up to different things than most people.
Know Thyself
In short, if I wanted to end up like everyone else, then I would copy their actions and behaviors. But I don’t, and there are very few people that I’d like to be when I grow up. So what that tells me is that I must discover different actions. Hence the world’s wisdom traditions: Hermetics, Shamanism, Meditation, Magick.
And that’s why I seek. I seek to find an alternative to the predominant narrative, an alternative system to the current paradigm which clearly has not worked out so well for so many people. It’s easy to see that through the immense suffering in this world.
So I encourage you to ask yourself, why are you taking the actions everyone else seems to be taking. What results are those actions yielding, and is that what you want? Who are the people that you want to emulate? What actions are they taking? What’s one different action you can take to move towards the life you want to live as opposed to the life you have now?
The key to getting out of your box is to break down the walls that are keeping you in. Those walls are simply thoughts that keep you in the same field you’ve always played in. It’s time to break the walls, and think (and act) outside the box. It’s time to exit the Matrix.
Looking to exit the Matrix? Join us for our next Empower Thyself program and initiation into the Lineage of King Salomon, a Hermetic Order seeking to bring Light and Love to all people, while achieving our spiritual purpose.
