by user_dd | May 31, 2022 | Community Conversations
Honest Communication as the Path
We’re at an age where many of us are beginning to understand the universal principle of gender. As an energetic principle, we all have feminine and masculine aspects working within and around us. Understanding these principles can help us to align with our highest expression of these aspects. Empowered with the knowledge needed for us to step into our highest expression, we become better and better versions of ourselves as time goes on.
Misconceptions & Modern Times
There are many misconceptions around masculinity. We don’t need to look too deep below the surface to find the layers of conditioning; masculinity is often associated with brute strength, assertiveness, courage, leadership and bravery. Now, when we look towards the way we’ve evolved, we recognize that the embodiment of this principle becomes less and less physical. We’ve already invented the wheel, forged new inventions and blazed plenty of trails. Now is the time in human history where we can begin to really refine the masculine principle into its Divine form.
Inner Inquiry
So, here we are, poised with the question of ‘how does the Divine Masculine communicate through me?’
The answer may be different for all of us. Yet there are some basic underlying principles that are important to acknowledge. When we apply the traditional traits of masculinity (strength, assertiveness, leadership) toward these modern times, we see that what’s really valiant is to apply these principles to the way we communicate our truth. Embodying the masculine principle in the way we communicate looks like openness and honesty. Oriented toward truth, we usher in clarity with compassion, never shying away from the power of whatever message we’re seeking to get across.
Compassion and Honesty
Through this compassionate expression of one’s truth, the people we’re communicating with are able to better understand where they stand. When I am embodying the principle of Divine Masculinity, I am not only able to clearly and compassionately articulate my truth and know exactly where I stand on any given matter, but I also allow others to know where they stand in relationship to me. The people in my life always know where they stand with me. I share my message gently, and with care, always orienting toward the importance of the intentionality behind my communication. When honesty is at the core, we calibrate to truth, and that is honorable.
Perhaps you can think of something you’ve been wanting to communicate to someone in your life. This is your invitation to practice a bit, perhaps with yourself first, finding compassion in the way your truth is communicated. Step by step, the Divine Masculine principle will continue to crystallize in your field as you become a stronger and more compassionately courageous human being!
by user_dd | May 9, 2019 | Community Conversations
Ever fall in love at first sight? Contrary to popular opinion, I believe that this happens more often than you give yourself credit for. You DO find other people attractive, right?
Researchers say “the most frequently mentioned factor preceding experiences of love was finding certain characteristics of the other person desirable.” So if I’m reading that right, when you have desires you’re well on your way to falling in love. Street knowledge tells us a lot gets in the way between that initial desire, and full-blown romance. So what’s getting in the way?
You believe in love
The first thing to get is that you’re wired to believe in love. You’ll follow your emotions like a fool into the dark chambers of our mind and get lost willingly. We love the drama and the suspense associated with trying to predict the other: what is he or she going to do or say? How will this person show up next time? Is this relationship going somewhere? Or are we just having some short-lived fun?
Even if you don’t like it, you believe in the damsel in distress and the white knight destined to save her (hetero-normative stories still affect queer people). It’s part of our cultural narrative, even if you don’t believe in it yourself. Many of today’s hottest movie releases and their classic predecessors contain a sort of love story that fits this model—not all, but many.
You believe in stability
People still strive for that white picket fence even while they pretend it’s not for them. I know someone’s going to argue with me on this point. Think about it: how many of you just want a steady job with happy hour every once in awhile? Or would rather not have the responsibility of generating your own income and would be content to cash in a steady paycheck? My point here is that we desire order and stability, even while we walk around in chaos, whether self-inflicted or systemic to our social systems.
And last I checked, unless you’re talking about your love for the Universal ONE you need two to tango when it comes to romance. That means what other people think, including the community you’re walking in, matters a whole lot. When was the last time you doubled-down on meeting genuinely new people? Expanding your friendships gets harder to do the more stuck you are in your current programming.
Free Your Mind
It’s time to free your mind and extract yourself from the matrix you’ve built up around yourself. Break down the structures that keep you small and hidden. Create structures that expand rather than constrict. Build relationships that incite growth rather than degradation. Love yourself and your life to generate more love. Let yourself fall in love…again and again and again.
Here’s a love offering for you: https://open.spotify.com/track/0F845nujLVqCb0XMZCh5Pc?si=sz0K7COJRTeJ6FYH02tyqQ
by user_dd | Feb 15, 2019 | Transitory Thoughts
I was recently at dinner with some friends and our conversation turned metaphysical. You know, as you do on cold, wintery Pacific NW evenings. Warmed by the glow of the fire, we immersed ourselves in the topic of growth and consciousness expansion. Particularly, we were interested in the nature of learning and how people integrate their consciousness-expanding experiences into their life from meditation, tantra, plant medicine and other entheogens, etc.
This topic is near and dear to my heart, having studied it tirelessly for the last decade. I think Brandon stated the point most succinctly: “You know it’s a wisdom teaching when you can’t unlearn it.”
And I thought, this is why Hermetics is an oral tradition! We tend to not write things down, because anything you write down will just be your mind trying to make sense of what your heart already knows. And when your heart knows something, there’s no forgetting it. That wisdom is with you always.
You’ll never forget a wisdom teaching
So when you hear a wisdom teaching, you’ll know it’s legitimate when you can’t forget it. Although your mind might forget it, your heart will always operate with that wisdom from that point on. It’s also another reason why wisdom traditions cannot be taught over the internet. At some point, there has to be a physical meeting of the teacher/student to get the energetic download of the information. It’s the living presence that is an integral part of the experience of the wisdom teachings.
Science Behind the Heart
Those of you who follow the Heart Math Institute already know that the heart’s primarily “language” is electromagnetic in nature. The electromagnetic field of the heart is exponentially bigger than that of the mind. This means that forces that are electromagnetic in nature can affect your heart. This has two practical applications: 1) your heart force is more powerful than your mind force—remember that next time you’re analyzing your partner, and 2) you are a generator of electromagnetic force! So pay attention to your impact on others’ hearts. This is also why presence is required to convey information to the heart. As an aside, please don’t try to convey messages that are emotional in nature over text message, it NEVER works.
Have you ever had that experience of wanting to fall asleep when in a retreat or teaching or some kind, even though you’ve had plenty of sleep? Forces that affect the heart can completely overwhelm the mind, rendering it kind of useless. This is why sometimes people want to go to sleep when exposed to a wisdom teaching, their mind becomes overwhelmed trying to process information that’s actually meant for the heart.
If you want to communicate to someone’s heart, you must speak the language of emotion or the heart will barely ‘hear’ it. I encourage you to put this concept to good use this week, and Happy Valentine’s Day!
Thoughts or comments on this? Please use the comments section below.
by user_dd | Oct 10, 2018 | Community Conversations
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Photo by Leonardo Sanches on Unsplash
Bringing love back into your life is a continual process of death and renewal. The world’s wisdom traditions suggest that we cannot know greater levels of love without knowing greater levels of suffering.
While some people are turned off by this concept, they still accept simple karma. There is always a give and a take. For every severe action, there’s a compassionate one to bring back the balance. And I don’t think these wisdom teachers of ages past are saying that we must endure suffering, or that we must suffer in order to love.
Transform suffering into Love
Transforming suffering is a well-worn path by most Buddhist scholars and teachers, so my intent is not to revisit the theory and methods here, just to remind us that other ways of being in the world exist.
We need a fundamental re-framing of what love is. For our purposes here, let’s say that love is an appreciation of everything that I have right now in this moment. The experience of love is connection…to everything at this time—experiences of suffering and experiences of joy are equally contained within my love when I don’t run away from them, but actually lean into the experience.
Our wisdom teachings are saying that there is an opportunity to transform the experience of suffering in this way. This is more available if we are willing to show up and meet the “negative ego” face-to-face. The negative ego being that part of us that blocks the full expression of who we really are. It’s that part that holds us back from expressing the true power of our divinity.
Everyday we are challenged not to be a Buddha as much as we are to relinquish what we think we know to make space for a new way of being in the world. It’s a choice. But it’s a choice we must make whether we’re conscious of it or not.
Not everyone relates to a missed bus or a thwarted attempt at a good night kiss the same way. It can ruin some people’s mental balance if another person cuts in front of them in line. A whole day can be rocked learning that your child got in a fight at school.
These are all teaching experiences. They are all the universe asking us a deep, fundamental question: How would you like to be (in love)? As a separated, self-interested consciousness, or an aspect of universal spirit collaborating with others for our collective greatness?
It’s all love. How would you like to experience it?
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by user_dd | Jan 14, 2016 | Transitory Thoughts
It can be tough to take on someone else’s experience, but in the end, attempting empathy will help you (and others) growth.
A SHIFT IN OUR SENSES
Part of the shift we’re going through as a society is experiencing new forms of understanding. This happens at a deeper level than words and body language—it involves two souls communicating directly. It is a dance of energy and feeling.
As we grow in our awareness of a multidimensional reality, we learn how to engage with the world a little differently. This applies strongly to romance. With a US divorce rate of around 50%, it pays to wonder how to build a strong love life.
There are many relationship techniques you can pick up, and some of them are useful. What we’ll be talking about here, though, is empathy. This is the ability to sense the emotions of another person. It gives you valuable information and enhances bonding.
HIGH-END RELATIONSHIPS
Imagine coming home and saying hi to your partner. They smile, but you can just feel that something is off. You ask them how their day went, and listen carefully to anything that stands out. You check out their tense lip and fidgety fingers. Then it happens…one thing leads to another, and all of a sudden you’re in a fight! And why exactly?
Empathy opens up a broader range of experiences. Instead of being confused or saying the wrong things, you start to become a bit more fluid in social interactions. You’re tuned into a channel you never heard before. Even if you do make a faux pas, you can course correct more easily.
Enough talk. Whenever it comes to things like developing awareness and exercising your intuition, the best course is real world practice. Here are 3 keys to start using empathy.
KEY #1: CLEAR YOURSELF
Ever try to talk with someone in a noisy room? How’d that work?
If you’re cluttered with thoughts and emotions, it’s a challenge to sense your partner’s emotions. The first step is calming yourself and stilling your mind. Meditation is the classic formula for this.
Here’s a simple meditation:
- Sit comfortably.
- Close your eyes.
- Take a few deep breaths.
- Focus on your breathing.
- When a thought or emotion distracts you, allow it to run its course, then simply focus again on the breath.
Do this for 5 minutes a day, and build up to 10.
Also, throughout your day, pay attention to how your body feels and any emotions that arise. Accept them and be mindful of what they are and how they affect you.
KEY #2: CONNECT INTENTIONALLY
Energy follows intention. Now that you’re more aware and mindful, you’re able to form clearer intentions. Next time you’re with your partner, feel the desire to connect at a deeper level. “Breathe into” the feeling and let it expand. Be it.
KEY #3: BE PLAYFUL
Imagine you’re the other person. Literally imagine this. Pretend you can actually see from their eyes, hear from their ears, and otherwise feel from their senses. What sort of things might you be thinking if you had that experience? What might you be experiencing? Feeling?
Try this exercise at the mall or other public place. Choose a random person, and focus your awareness on them. Let yourself be calm and clear when you start, then imagine how they are. Things will come to you that will seem made up. It’s okay. Apply some childlike playfulness here.
When you’re with your partner, notice which sensations and information you get by doing this. You will want to gauge yourself, so use some of the advice in this post: Seeing Things Doesn’t Make Me Crazy.
Keep experimenting. You’ll get the hang of it.
Go ahead. Slip on those other shoes and start walking.
Please share your experiences below! I’d love to hear what impact these exercises have had on your empathy and relationships.
