Tantric Sex is a Joke

Tantric Sex is a Joke

Most of what you’ve been hearing about Tantric sex is false.


Or rather, it’s not the whole picture…

In the West, with the New Age and personal development movements growing, there’s been a lot of talk about spiritual life. Yoga studios are all over, the Law of Attraction is a buzzword, and meditation is starting to be taught in schools and businesses. One of our most powerful urges is also shining in the indigo spotlight—sex.


In an attempt to spiritualize sex, we have taken an age-old practice and adopted it for our own desires. Countless books and videos claim to teach Tantra, which is said to be a practice that deepens sexuality and takes it to new levels. While there is nothing wrong with trying to enhance your relationship with your partner, it’s important to honor the genuine message of Tantra if its name is to be invoked.



Tantra evolved from the Vedic tradition of India, an ancient spiritual doctrine that some believe originated 7000 years ago. The word Tantra, depending on who you ask, means technique, ritual, or expansion—we can say that it is a practical method for spiritual development. It often employs gestures, chants, visualizations, postures, and movements.


What distinguishes Tantra is the acknowledgement of both the masculine and feminine principles that constitute reality. In some ways, this is similar to the Taoist concept of Yin and Yang. Some Tantriks call these principles Shiva—the god, representing universal consciousness—and Shakti—the goddess, representing energy and matter. Tantra is a nondual philosophy, believing that all of existence is Divine, and that the physical and transcendent are merely two aspects of one, indivisible whole.


This leads to the second quality that distinguishes Tantra: it sees the mundane as having ripe potential in spiritual development. In other words, the energies that are spent and generated in daily life can be redirected for attaining Enlightenment. The Hindu mystic, Sadhguru, explains more:


The simple principle of tantra yoga is: whatever can take you down can also take you up…tantra is about building our energies to the fountain-head of the uppermost dimension of the energy system, so that one’s energies spill from the top.



Sexuality can play a role in Tantra, however, it’s role isn’t what Westerners often depict it. In one sense, the relationship between the Guru and the disciple can be very intimate, and ignite orgasmic, ecstatic states. It is said that Lord Krishna simultaneously gave 16,000 women orgasms. This type of orgasm, though, goes beyond sexuality and is not even physical. It is the opening of barriers to greater consciousness in the disciple, and the closest experience many of us have to relate to that is sexual orgasm.


Sexual energy can also be transmuted into more rarified forms that accelerate an initiate’s evolution. This is also a practice in Taoist Inner Alchemy, which requires significant discipline and training to master. There are certain schools that allow physical intimacy in the process of sexual transmutation, and advocate that such work dramatically deepens intimacy. Yet even these schools acknowledge that there are much more advanced levels. These involve having “sex” with the polarities within yourself, and even “making love” to the Cosmos. Upon reaching these levels, physical sex may feel superfluous.



Tantra is definitely a rich field of intense spiritual work. It is not synonymous with spiritual sex, for it encompasses so much, and it does not promote spicing up your life with exotic sex postures. Kundalini yoga, Hatha yoga, mudras, mantras, and ritual dancing all can be considered forms of Tantra. One could even go so far as to say that mindfulness in brushing your teeth, transforming your anger into ecstasy, or simply feeling the Divine Spirit in every rock and dumpster are all nods to Tantra.


It’s not uncommon for Eastern traditions to be misunderstood in the West, even with good intentions. Knowing that Tantra is not strictly about sex, it might also be worth pointing out that there are ways to introduce sexuality into your spiritual growth. It’s not a sin!


Below are some resources for leading you in the right direction, if you feel called. Remember, though, that sex is only one of the many aspects of the human experience, and that if you are very serious about your spiritual development, you may one day reach the point where you will re-evaluate the importance of sex in your life.



  1. http://mantakchia.com/immortal-inner-alchemy-teachings-master-mantak-chia/
  2. http://www.healingtaousa.com/isa.html
  3. http://www.tantra-kundalini.com/


Please share your honest responses. No judgment—promise! What role does sex currently play in your life? Has it propelled you to greater heights? If so, how?

Will & Grace Part 2 | Divine Feminine

If you read “Will & Grace Part 1 | Divine Masculine,” you were introduced to the idea that polarization is something that happens even in contemporary spirituality, and that one major way this manifests is polarization of the gender principles. In this post, we will explore this further, and touch upon how we can honor the Divine Feminine in our lives (in balance with the Divine Masculine).


The Taoist sages of China, millennia ago, discovered that there are two fundamental forces behind reality. As many of us know, they called these Yin and Yang. The misconception that many Westerners have, however, is that Yin is evil and Yang is good. Perhaps this comes from attempting to understand another system through an Anglo and Christian lens. The Taoists did not associate these forces with good and evil.

Yang is masculine and it is the force that thrusts and shapes. It is hot and radiating. Yang is the quality that penetrates. In its extreme state it is corrosive, but when balanced, Yang is very life-giving.

4001074683_eeea0a3a7e_zYin is the feminine quality, being receptive, flexible, and supple. It is depicted as darkness, but darkness is simply a photonic vacuum which light enters. There is no malicious aspect attached to it, being one half of a dynamic. Likewise, Yin is considered cold, and this is because cold is the emptiness which draws in heat.



Old Pagan traditions had rich descriptions of the Divine Feminine. A great way to learn how to incorporate sacred feminine energies into your own life is to run through the trifold nature of the Divine Feminine, metaphorically based on the three main stages of a woman’s life.



The Maiden is the young girl. She is playful, delicate, and creative. The primary trait of the Maiden is a full receptivity to life and other people. Unconditional acceptance and tenderness are natural effects of this. Be open and empathetic – imagine yourself as the person you are interacting with. What might be that person’s hopes and fears, dreams and regrets? See how you can connect with him or her, and how you might share commonalities. What could bring you together?



The Mother is the woman in her prime, nourishing those she cares for. She is fertile, abundant, and loving. She represents the alchemical vessel, from which Life enters and flows forth again. She is the Earth, the field, and the sacred waters. Reflect on the areas in which you are abundant. How can you use that abundance to give to others? Also, in which areas are you resisting being “fertilized” – do you have an energy, trait, or resource that could be activated, but you’re afraid? Perhaps you have ideas for a business, yet no clue how to put them into action. Maybe you have a vacant room, but don’t trust bringing anyone in to rent it out. Think deeply about this, and allow yourself to meet with people and opportunities that could put your stagnant resources to good use.



The Crone is the Wise Woman, the elder. Old in her years, and rich in experience, she intimately knows many mysteries. Her strongest attributes are a well-developed intuition and a subtle understanding about life. It’s as if she is straddling two worlds – the visible and the invisible. She refines the raw empathy of the Maiden, making it a well of vast wisdom. Pay attention to your intuitions and gut feelings. Learn to discern between ego impressions and genuine clairsentience (the difference is that strong emotions, such as fear or anger, often accompany the ego, whereas divine intuition is often pure information with a neutral tone). Record your dreams, and reflect on them. Practice meditation to still your mind and receive direct transmission from Spirit.



These practices are useful for both men and women. It is too much to ask a person to instantly balance the energies of both genders – this can be a lifelong journey. However, by paying attention to an energy you might not be used to, you can achieve greater perspective and more versatility in life. It is a stepping stone to equilibrium.