The Secret of Moving from ‘Fight or Flight’ to ‘Holding Space’
By user_dd

As a Guide in the Lineage of King Salomon, I am constantly supporting my clients in conversations where they are experiencing some form of resistance. Yesterday, I discovered another example of “what we resist, persists.”

When someone comes at us with their [untrue] story and we feel threatened, we usually do a version of one of these two things:

  • We fight—“That’s not true!” “You don’t know me.” “I AM lovable.”
  • We project—“I’m not mad, you’re mad.” “This isn’t my issue, it’s your issue.”
  • Sometimes we do both!

Between fighting for our own truth, and projecting our hurt feelings onto others, we get thrown off our center and into negative emotions more interested in tearing the other person down rather than holding them compassionately in their process of becoming.

Have you ever felt like that?

And their story about us MAY be wrong, or we MAY actually be mad, but not at what the other person thinks we’re mad about. Oftentimes empaths get into trouble trying to interpret or place a false story on their very real sensory experience. In any case, there is a lack of understanding because there is a lack of listening.

As a Guide, my role is to clarify and inspire people on their evolutionary path of progression.

I discussed a scenario like this that my client had recently, as well as some potential approaches. A team mate asked for time off, but instead of going directly to my client, the employee went through another team member, the office manager. The way she communicated the message was, “I know you’ll probably be mad, but…” My client had a knee-jerk reaction which she regretted later.

So often team members will project their hurt feelings onto the leader. I offered to my client that resisting the initial conversation with her office manager about whether she’d be mad had stopped the flow of energy in the conversation. This left us with a pool of emotional energy that needed to be released the next day, when the office manager brought it up again (passive aggressively).

When we allow others to be heard fully, and actually make the effort to articulate their story in their own words, we get out of the way and allow that emotional energy to continue to flow. If my client had said something along the lines of, “I understand you think I’ll be mad about this,” this allows the story to move instead of getting stuck somewhere in our body. Whenever we resist communication flowing to us, it usually gets stuck in our aura. When we allow it to flow, we have the opportunity to use our will to redirect the energy to create a higher good—like understanding, empathy, compassion.

The key to ‘holding space’ is that it doesn’t matter whether the story is true, what matters is that the energy moves. 

By facilitating and redirecting the flow of energy, Adepts, and particularly Ritual Masters, in our lineage are able to be drivers of their reality rather than passengers experiencing the ups and downs of their lower brain. This helps create thriving relationships, both personally and professionally.