Boundary Setting Tips
Have you ever felt rubbed the wrong way? Found yourself doing something you really don’t want to do because someone asked you to do it? Or perhaps you’ve felt like a doormat at some point in the past? There are many ways our boundaries can be crossed and oftentimes we don’t realize until it’s already happened. This is usually the case when we haven’t established where our boundaries are for ourselves, first.
Establishing our own boundaries for ourselves is a personal process. In this process, we explore and recognize what situations allow for our optimal expression and our embodiment. We can start to create lists and structured forms around the conditions in which we thrive; when do we feel really seen, embodied and fully expressed? Working from those conditions, we then create boundaries to preserve those conditions, when they are susceptible to external influence.
How do we know where to draw boundaries? Usually there are signs we can read in our own energy field that will let us know when our boundaries have been crossed. Sometimes this translates to feelings of defensiveness or defeat. Either we react to the boundary getting crossed, and our communication turns prickly and abrasive. Or we repress our feelings regarding the boundary getting crossed, and we shut down and detach from the situation.
In any case, it’s important to read the body’s response to different scenarios, so we can create an inner map of our boundary zones. Once we become literate with our own boundaries within ourselves, we are more empowered to communicate these boundaries to others.
Empowered Authenticity and Effective Expression
Communication, as we know, can be both verbal and non-verbal. With regard to boundaries, it’s often beneficial for us to communicate these in verbal, explicit ways. Within the realm of non-verbal communication, there can be a lot of room for misinterpretation and distortion. Therefore, expressing clearly and accurately can be helpful for others to know where our boundaries are and what they look like. The best boundary setting techniques are those that are infused with love, where we speak vulnerably from our hearts. In this way, we admit our own expectations and where our edges of comfort are drawn, so that others can honor these edges.
Regardless of whether we’re communicating our boundaries within a love relationship, a professional agreement or within a family dynamic, there are some general tips you can glean here:
→ Use foresight to create clear agreements
→ Put all expectations on the table
→ Maintain emotional connection and present-moment awareness
→ Be authentic, open and honest about your needs
In order to optimize boundary setting techniques, it’s of utmost importance to speak from the heart! Create invitations for new ways of being in relationship, as we do our part in fostering emotional connection while creating clear agreement fields. Communicating our boundaries from a place of love, clearly and compassionately, can help to create invitations for others as opposed to restrictions or limitations. This, ultimately, will translate to deeper trust and a higher degree of mutual respect of the boundaries we seek to set.
When we speak about feminine and masculine principles, it’s important to acknowledge that this conversation exists beyond the realm of sexual and physical organs. This is a conversation about universal energies that exist within every living being. We all have multiple modes of expression that embody either masculine or feminine qualities. When you deepen your understanding of both, a pure expression of your highest truth is possible.Each principle, masculine and feminine, have expressions that range from toxic or unhealthy, to realized and actualized Divinity. The energy of the Divine Feminine is receptive, loving, spacious and open. It’s important for us to recognize the role that masculine expression has played in our progression up to this point in planetary history. This collective progression is now calling for the feminine to rise. The rise of the feminine inspires deeper listening, greater capacity and stronger abilities to hold space, for ourselves, for each other, for this planet we call home, and for the important yet challenging thresholds we face as we step into the future our hearts know is possible.
It’s time for the rise of the feminine, for the shift from doing into being.
This shift is one that must be made individually, in order for any collective shift to occur. So let’s all rise to activate our Divine Feminine; opening our capacity to sit with ourselves, to listen to our inner guidance systems and create spaciousness in our inner worlds.
This way, we can make decisions from a place of love and trust, with deeper clarity and toward a future we can feel inspired about. When we come from a place of trust, anchored in the resplendent receptivity of a vessel that’s designed to receive, to hold, to listen, to care, to nurture, to embrace.
Expanding capacity means that we increase the width and depth of our container. At an individual level, this looks like more space to listen to all of our parts, all of our inner voices. At a collective level, this looks like an amplification of the number of voices that are heard within any given group; built into the structure and form are deep, wide enough spaces to hold all of the potentialities, all of the possibilities and all the perspectives with ease. With grace, even.
With increased self awareness around what it is that we emanate out into the world; what all our unseen aspects of self are expressing. The energy we exude brings to us that which we (knowingly or unknowingly) are attracting. So, we can look at this shift into the feminine as one from pursuit into magnetism. Where instead of going after, we are calling in. And along the way, we can enjoy the process as we move from desire into pleasure.
When we make this shift, we will notice that our communication styles move from pointy to playful, as our self talk moves away from separation to unity. From divisive comparisons into pure perspectives and clear contemplations. We find ourselves enjoying the experience of curiosity ever more frequently, steeped in wonder as we listen to the simple joys that ignite our hearts.